Tragedy

A tragedy beyond human comprehension occurred yesterday: the Masters Tournament was rained out for the second straight day.

All across the land, bourgeoisie of all shapes and sizes had tears in their eyes, the amounts of which must've surpassed the rainfall in Augusta. For they were unable to watch adult men, dressed as geriatrics, attempt to hit a little ball into a little hole.

Over and over and over again.

Please, lord, end the madness and let the sun shine today over that hollowed land.