Just To Be Sure

Last month, our gallant Christian soldiers liberated Fallujah in one of the greatest military victories since the Romans took Masada. They eradicated all the bad guys and brought peace and freedom to this beautiful city, which will serve as a showcase of American benevolence.

So, if we won an absolute victory there, why are we continuing to bomb the place back to Biblical times?

It's certainly not because the battle is actually still on, because the generals told us it was over, and we all know our generals would never lie to us. No, we just want to be sure that we killed everyone, that we destroyed every building, that Folly shall continue to reign there omnipotently for many years to come.