No Humor Allowed

It was once said that "All humor is offensive," meaning that anything that is funny is bound to offend someone. That is why humor cannot be tolerated in our new Great Society.

Kraft Corporation, attempting a bit of innocuous humor, recently came out with a line of Road Kill Gummi Candy, which featured its well-known animals flattened by tire tracts.

Animals rights groups were rightfully appalled. How dare they make a joke about dead animals, even if they are only candy. The groups threatened boycotts, petition drives, and whatever else necessary to stop this outrageous humor.

And Kraft courageously capitulated. Fortunately, profit, or the threat of the loss thereof, won the day.

Today Kraft, tomorrow the world.