Mary Visits Chicago

Crowds of the faithful have amassed underneath a freeway in Chicago to witness a water stain in the image of the Most Holy Virgin Mary, who had most recently appeared in a half-eaten grilled cheese sandwich that sold for $28,000 on eBay.

Why Chicago? Why an underpass? Why a water stain?

These are questions, unfortunately, for higher theological minds than our own. We can only look on with awe and keenly await the next appearance of Her magical tour.